Lazy afternoon musings.

I don’t feel enthusiastic about things these days. Maybe it is the weather or is the passing of winter rubbing off on me? Whatever the reason is the time seems to appear slow and dull and I am only looking for some respite in the form of sunshine. I have heard since childhood that Sunshine is a great source of vitamin D but what I didn’t know till much later was that it is also a great source of your mental well-being. In short, it is a mood lifter. Not sharing this as some hearsay but as a recipient of sunshine for years and never have I ever felt unproductive or dysfunctional but now. 

The other day I was at a get-together and my friends and I were playing some funny, 16-year-old games to amuse themselves. According to the game, each one of us had to define ourselves in a line or two. When it came to me, I felt like saying, “Too bored to discuss” but I refrained from such remarks as that would be nothing short of being a party-pooper and I didn’t want to be the old lady in the room. But on my way back, I was sort of clueless why despite so many people around, with so much spicy gossip to discuss, I felt like saying “I am bored”. Does that mean I no longer enjoy parties? That would be a scary territory to dive into because that could mean a handful of things. 

First, I am aging. That thought is scarier than expected. Moving on to the next option. Second, I have strong preferences for who I meet and greet. That seems plausible. Hmm. Anyway. Third, I am super snobbish. That's unlike me. Hopefully. Fourth, I need a break. Wait. Break from what. From life or people or monotony in general? If I start putting pen to paper, I dread I would have some juicier ideas to munch on. But at the same time, I am not sure if that is full proof or has the potential to land me in the trouble zone. I have observed that I feel most comfortable and happy while working. The busier I am, the better it is. My friend calls it - Slave mentality. I smirk at their innocence and move on. As if we were under the British empire for our bravery and not just the sheer lack of wit and courage and became a bunch of slaves. I have a slave mentality. And believe it or not, we can reclaim our old glorious status of “The Golden Bird” through hard work, and work and work alone. 

Tch tch. Another diversion from what I was stating earlier. This is the typical me that keeps jumping corners and attaching strings end to end to make a web of ideas and dive into them for my own good. But I think the best option is to take a break. From reality and life together. This will not only give a sense of what I long the most but clarity about so many hidden aspects. So what are the steps to achieving this? What about a solo trip to someplace afar for a while seeking pleasure in mother nature? Again, I dread my lonely, lethargic self might bore me. Who knows? But “try toh banta hai”? (I will give it a try)