Monologue

 

She seems to have all the time in this world and to have the luxury of time and patience is in itself a boon. She can invest herself in things not always materialistic but experiences that she longs for. But that idea is convoluted somehow and the responses ain’t clear and that she dreads walking on those paths. At the same time, the liberty of time has opened her the doors of musings and self-analysis simultaneously. That sounds treacherous to her. She fails to decide if this path would lead to liberty, self-realization, or even worse, self-pity. Because she thinks that, in all sanity, too much liberty, both physical and/or mental, may lead her to unwanted realms and take a cognitive toll on her for a while. This might lead to some imbalance or clarity but it being an undiscovered territory makes her indecisive, to say the least. 

Her thoughts run far and wide. She sometimes feels imperative to open the doors and let those ideas run through but she is incompetent to set the precincts. She desires to revisit the place and untangle the knots and relieve herself from the lingering confusion that refuses to die down no matter how strong the arguments she provides. Also, she is resolute that the moment of ultimate freedom will be soon and that will be a game-changer. But she has to keep at it till then. 

Some say she is a fighter while others call her sober. What is she? Fighter or sober? Time will tell is her response to all, herself included. She, however, needs to have the courage to stand up and shut the bystanders who have been raising fingers towards her; the courage to have some control. Not that she doesn’t have the courage or strength but the coping mechanism doesn’t work necessarily. That she thinks is the root cause. Yes, she has somewhat deciphered the unknown but can she ignore the variables that are equally important for this equation to stand valid. Generally, this world cannot exist with no solution. Right? 

Thank you :)